WHY POODLE'S ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

A Poodle's disposition stays the same all month long.

A Poodle's parents never visit.

A Poodle's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

Anyone can get a good-looking Poodle.

Poodle's agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

Poodle's are excited by rough play.

Poodle's aren't catty.

Poodle's can appreciate excessive body hair.

Poodle's can't talk.

Poodle's don't borrow your shirts.

Poodle's don't care if you use their shampoo.

Poodle's don't cry.

Poodle's don't expect you to call when you are running late.

Poodle's don't hate their bodies.

Poodle's don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

Poodle's don't mind if you give their offspring away.

Poodle's don't notice if you call them by another Poodle's name.

Poodle's don't shop.

Poodle's don't want to know about every other Poodle you ever had.

Poodle's don't worry about germs.

Poodle's enjoy heavy petting in public.

Poodle's find you amusing when you're drunk.

Poodle's have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

Poodle's like beer.

Poodle's like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

Poodle's like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and

the back of your sock drawer.

Poodle's love it when your friends come over.

Poodle's love long car trips.

Poodle's love red meat.

Poodle's never criticize.

Poodle's never expect gifts.

Poodle's never need to examine the relationship.

Poodle's never want foot-rubs.

Poodle's seldom outlive you.

Poodle's s think you sing great.

Poodle's understand that all animals smaller than Poodle's were made to be hunted.

Poodle's understand that farts are funny.

Poodle's understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

Poodle's will forgive you for playing with other Poodle's.

Poodle's would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

If a Poodle is gorgeous, other Poodle's don't hate it.

No Poodle ever bought a Mel C or Boyzone album.

No Poodle ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

The later you are, the more excited Poodle's are to see you

You never have to wait for a Poodle. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.

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